I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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