the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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