oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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