some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
