East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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