I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
