my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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