Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
