i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
