u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
