some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize