Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
