I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
