you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
