TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
