Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
