if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
As shirtless as possible
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize