i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
