Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
