he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Do vagina's smell?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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