Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I touched a dick in church today
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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