we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Randomize
