Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
smell my finger.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize