Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
