it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
