At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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