just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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