shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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