what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
