It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize