I am spending my child support on dildos
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
