Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
