it was like fucking gandolphs beard
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I fill condoms, not promises.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize