Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
