i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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