Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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