I murdered the dance floor call the cops
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
