i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
