I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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