He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Randomize
