quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
