new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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