so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
