i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize