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and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
COCAINE IS GR8
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize