i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
