My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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