things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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