I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize