we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
