Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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