But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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