I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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