I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Randomize