JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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