Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
