I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
