census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
