yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
