I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
