so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
