the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
this just has baby written all over it
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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