So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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