Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
