Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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