dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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