my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
