Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
